"Love"

You see it on TV, you hear songs about it on the radio, you see it between couples, you feel it when you're with friends or in a relationship, you see it on special holidays, you hear and see it everywhere: Love.

We all know that when it comes to love…it is probably the most (next to God) confusing and non-understandable, and sometimes self-contradicting aspects in life. Many will argue that love doesn't exist (ahem* I beg to differ), some will say it does…but "true love" isn't real or its very rare, some bend and twist what I call "the rules of love" to form it to what they want it to be (cough* i.e. Hollywood cough*), and then there's some that think they've found it…just to fall on their face and get hurt.
Let's see if any of these have ever been you:
· The person that 'loved' someone, but never got it back
· The person that 'loved' someone, you got it back, then you ended up hurt in the end
· The one who was looking for love, but either got sick of looking and settled something less or "close to it;" or was looking in the wrong places
· The person who loved someone, felt you'd never have a chance and tried to move on…but you never really could
· The one that you loved so much…that it actually did hurt (non necessarily in the terms of a relationship, this one counts for "in general" as well)
Or, because of love, you:
· Tried to change some things about yourself, or give up some things (even if it was for the better)
· Made yourself "available" (in terms of time, help, and commitment) to this person or group of people
· You think about someone (or group of people) constantly

Yada yada yada yada, you can make a list into an encyclopedia…but that's a few.
We don't understand it…and sometimes, we simply misinterpret it.

My mom asked me about a year ago a common question that she asks me…just because, and the answer is the same all the time: "Daniel (my middle name), do you love me?" And my reply is always "yes." Now, its nothing random out of the blue, I'm used to here every so often asking that question (even though I made sure I said it and gave her a kiss every morning before school)…but this time was different, she asked another question: "Why?" I honestly had to think about it…not because it was one of those things like… "Dude…why would I love you?"…but more along the reasons of… "Do I have to have a reason?" After a couple of minutes my response was… "I just do"
Usually someone would say that there really isn't a right or wrong answer to a question like that…but in the case of love…that's the only true answer.

Why?

Suppose I said, "Well, you're a really nice person…you're fun to be around…and…you are a very responsible, hard working person."
Now suppose before that, going back in time, her personality was altered, and she wasn't nice, or fun, responsible, or hard working. Does this mean that I no longer love her?
"I just do." It's the true answer. Why? It's called Unconditional Love. It's not that hard to figure out what that means…Love that has no conditions, no standards or rules, no catch to it, no "if I…then you…," there is nothing that says, "I love you because…" It simply stops at, "I love you." Period. Then end. Stop-not another word.

Ramon…where are you getting at? Good question…I know, you don't, it's important to where I'm headed, keep reading.

Ever found yourself saying, "It's really hard to love someone like that" (or anything along those lines). You may want to self analyze yourself, no one's perfect, and honestly…if you did something wrong…or act a certain way (maybe because of past experiences, home environment…whatever)…would you truly be happy with people avoiding you or limiting their intimacy with you because of what you've done? Again…unconditional love. It says, "You did this…but despite of that, I still love you," NOT, "You did this…but I'll still talk to you every so often (or still like you as a person…or any other crap like that)." Again…one of those very confusing things about love.
But you know what makes love what it is?

Get ready to get confused:
Love is a selfless act…that revolves around yourself.

Ramon…uh….well…uh….you see….I uh……..wwwhaaat?

Exactly.

Note I said REVOLVES, not ONLY INVOLVES. Love is something that only you can choose to do…and in it's purest form…can only be shaped by you (revolves around you). You see it all the time…and hear it too, "Love is what you make it." It's completely personal, and it exist in you. Sure it can be expressed outwardly, but that is simply what it is…an expression of love; however, the most intimate love, is never said; never spoken. WHY? style="mso-spacerun: yes" live. DC talk (a Christian rap/rock band) has a really old song called, "Love is a Verb"…and that it is. Remember English class? Action verbs and "being" verbs? It's both…it's an action…and it's also a state of being. It means putting yourself aside (selfless act), putting all your other feelings, judgments, convictions aside as well, and loving despite anything. (Hey, no one ever said love was easy…which is funny...it's not easy, but we all want it…yet we're not willing to give it ourselves)

It's like the Sun. It's the center of attention and provides light, energy, heat, etc…yet everything revolves around it…and it still involves all other 9 (technically now 8) planets, despite the fact that when you think about it…none of the planets really do anything for the sun.

So maybe this will start helping out a few people who say "Love doesn't exist." And this may very well be a stopping point for reading to anyone who doesn't agree with me, tis your choice…not forcing you to continue reading. Ahem*:
I've noticed that some people who say love doesn't exist…is cause they never really experienced love to begin with. Love IS NOT the touchy, feely, kissy thing that goes on in a relationship, that's intimacy…it's called…**drum roll**… "touching, feeling, and kissing", OMG no way. Duh people, it's not that complicated…it's called kissing for a reason and not loving (when's the last time your mom said, "Give me a love (kiss) on the cheek?"…I rest my case). Before I continue…note **I'm not bashing intimacy…that is very necessary in life, I'm just making a case for love, thank you**…anyway…I swear some guy (may I say extreme jerk to the max?) is out there complaining that some girl doesn't love him…because she refuses to give it up to him…hence confusing love and lust. True love waits. If you can't make a commitment, then it's not really love, because you are placing a condition on time (remember the unconditional love thing? yeah…it applies to time too).

We all want love…yet, we don't want to give it. Why? Because we'll get hurt? Yeah, Love is also painful, but that doesn't mean it's not worth it.

Uh…Ramon…you're the guy that's been single all your life, you don't know what it's like to be in a relationship, or to get heart broken, or blah, blah, blah.

Listen buddy…you don't have to jump off a bridge to know you'll probably get hurt…and I do know what its like to be in love…and you don't have to break off a relationship to be heart broken, and everything else…sad thing is I probably know more about love than most married folk. I live my life helping others and such (as I wrote a few blogs ago), and I live it loving people. I've always found it amusing that many times, I'm friends with 2 or 3 (maybe more) people…to find out that they all know each other and hate each other. But I don't pick a side and ignore another friend…Love isn't based on the perception of what others see in someone else; once again, love is an action with no boundaries.

There are so many things about love that just simply cannot be explained; it's just the way it is. But you shouldn't have to always find the need to understand something to do it, or to believe it. The best things and the right things in life usually don't come easy…love being one of them…but when you think about it…if we all took grasp on the concept of love and tried to live it…it really wouldn't be that hard…of course…there's always going to be someone that doesn't care…even so…love them anyway; love changes lives. As a Christian I really don't understand God and why things happen…but the reason why I don't know and He does, is the reason why He gets to be called God…and I still believe and follow Him. Bottom line, Learn to love, and when I say that, I mean learn TO love (action), and to live love (Being).