"You Are Holy"

Well...I haven't written a blog...but this isn't actually a blog-blog...its actually an excerpt from my prayer journal. It is actually written as a prayer to God...so you may find the structure of the writing a bit odd...but bear with it...I just felt a desire to share some of what I wrote with y'all. Call me a fool for believing in Christ, or say Amen, but either way, it's what I believe, and that's pretty much all that matters.

First, the song:

"You are Holy," performed by Lee University Campus Chior:

I saw the Lord seated on the throne;
He was clothed in glory, and exalted high.
And the train of His robe fills the temple
And angels gathered around him and cried:
You are holy, Oh so holy;
You are holy, Lord of all.
Woe is me, for I am unclean
For my eyes have seen the holy King.
But he cleansed my lips...right before my eyes
And the pillars shook, as the angels cried:

You are holy, Oh so holy;
You are holy, Lord of all.

2nd, the actual writing: it will be edited for length purposes (and because after all...It is MY prayer...you don't need to read it all...but as a side note**** whenever I say something like: You have loved ME...just replace "Me" with "us" or something like that...for it is a general thing...except that I personalized it in my writings.)

I reflect among the song "You are Holy:""I saw the Lord seated on the throne; He was clothed in glory and exalted high." This song is written from Isaiah 6, in which I aknowledge that You, oh Lord, are God; the on seated on the throne. I reflect Your glory as I read: "the train of His robe filled the temple." Upon talking to mom, the "train" signifies status, such as a bride getting married. The longer the train is, the higher you are supposed to be. Queens of the world, or even that of Princess Diana were lengthened from the alter past the seats. Your train...filled the temple. your status? God. A simple example of how great and powerful You are.

And it continues:

"as the angel cried; 'Holy, holy, holy is the Lord of hosts; the whole earth is full of His glory." (vs 3). Even in the song: such a pwerful, yet simple chorus; "You are Holy, oh so Holy, You are holy, Lord of all." After aknowledgeing who you are, and after hearing the angels' cries...it is the net part that shows how loving You truly are. "Woe is me, for I am undone! Because I am a man of unclean lips,...For my eyes have seen the King, the Lord of hosts." (vs. 5)
In this...I am ashamed to see You, Lord. For one who is so unclean, to look upon one hose robe fills the temple...to look upon the one who is above all. Lord my mouth has spoken lies; it has spoken doubt, curses, hatred, and has spoken hurt.

But...

"Behold, this has touched your lips; Your iniquity is taken away, and you sin purged." (vs 7). OR, in the words of the song: "and He cleansed my lips, right before my eyes."

You have shown mercy on my life, Lord, and have gien me another chance. And "as the pillars shook" or "the posts of the door were shaken by the voice of him who cried out..." (vs. 4)

So, as I sing the song it is not the angel declaring; however, I fall to my knee and cry out to You and sing, declaring: "You are holy, oh so Holy, You are holy Lord of all"

Part 3: The purpose of sharing this with you...

is simply becaue of the impact this song has on my life. I never stopped to think of how truly glorious God is. For those who don't know what the "train" is...that is the part of the robe that drags the ground such as a bride's gown that follows behind her....you might think of the cape that they wear that drags the ground. It, again, signifies status...and God's robe FILLED the temple...signifying that he is above all kings, and above all. However, one so glorious and powerful...is yet so forgiving and loving...for though we have all have had sin in our lives...he cleanses us of our sins...and makes us worthy to do his will and his works. In this passage of Isaiah 6: the man, Isaiah (duh) has been called to be a prophet...but he declares that he is unclean...but through the process of purifying him...God made Him worthy to do His will...just as God has made you and me worthy to do the will of God.

"Commitment"

It's been a while since I've done a serious, long writing, in which…the scary side of Ramon that speaks his mind comes out.

As most of you (my readers) know…I left home for the summer to take on a summer job as a youth worker/pastor. I struggled greatly before that time because of summer school, and I had to put off this desire to help this church for a later time. Some people may have looked at this and said, "Well…you were supposed to be there for 10 weeks, and now you're only going for 5 weeks…You've lost a lot of time; why don't you just give it up?" Other than the fact that working with youth is one of my passions in life; it's fairly simple: Commitment.

Oh yeah…that word…

It scares some people "half to death," and if you say it twice you just might kill them all the way.

You here it all the time, "I don't want to do that job, because it's a lot of work," or "I don't believe in marriage," perhaps "I'm not ready for a relationship," or "It's not worth my time and effort."

Now…most of these statements can be true, and inarguable. If you're doing a nine-to-five job that barely pays 4 dollars an hour (which yes…it's below the minimum wage…but for the sake of examples), I'd say, "yeah…you're right, that is a lot of work for pretty much nothing." And "It's not worth my time and effort" can apply for that same scenario. Perhaps you're a very independent person, or you used to simply being alone… "I'm not ready for a relationship" is probably pure honesty and I can't argue with that. As for "I don't believe in marriage…"…Don't even get me on that tangent (too late, it's coming later).

I almost forgot my disclaimer:

This is my opinion; which come straight from the heart and the bias of a man that's been single forever and is a strong conservative Christian. Don't like what I have to say? I'm not forcing you to read. I accept criticism, and if you feel the need to yell at me your disagreement or call me out for whatever reason, go ahead; I'm not going to get offended.

Okay…so… "I don't want to do that job, because it's a lot of work." Now if you're one of these people that are looking for a job where you can literally sit down and play video games all day and expect to get paid for acting like a child…grow up. Please. Or at least allow me to buy you some diapers and some baby formula. That's a case of someone who doesn't want to submit to the authority of an executive administrator and is afraid of that commitment of having to get up at 8 in the morning to get to work at 9 and have to actually do something for a paycheck (never mind the soldiers that get up at 4:30 in the morning and work until the job is done, which can be well after dinner time, and don't complain about having to work for a paycheck while they're in foreign countries, fighting for the freedom you have to open your mouth and complain).

"It's not worth my time or effort." Or perhaps it is, but anything that requires time and effort usually is something undesirable…and again…refer to the previous paragraph.

"I'm not ready for a relationship"…or "the commitment that comes with a relationship." Ah…this is where I lose…ALL my readers, maybe, depends how you take it. Not calling anyone out, so don't take it personal (ok…I'm lying, I'm calling one particular girl that I grew up with that doesn't read my blogs and whom I haven't communicated since…middle school/early high school? So she doesn't count). Now like I said with the example I gave earlier…there are some instances where this statement is true, and I won't argue with it. But take for instance the young lady that wants to date someone, do whatever…breaks up with them and says, "I just wasn't ready for a relationship" and then starts flirting again with other guys and ends up in a relationship again. Now tell me…that the problem is that you're not ready for a relationship, and I will personally slap you myself. The second statement that I gave at the beginning of this paragraph would be more accurate: "I'm not ready for the commitment that comes with a relationship." Now coming from a guy that thinks more than he should…if I see a guy (or girl) break up with someone, using the excuse I'm just not ready for a relationship…and you end up dating someone else (ok people…and I don't mean like a year later, lets talk days or a some short period of time)…the way I see it: You were in a relationship and you said, "You know…there's a lot of girls (or guys) out there to mess around with, and I really don't want to be constrained to the idea of being faithful to just one girl (or guy), therefore, let's call it off so that I have the freedom of playing games with every single person out there and it "be ok." For Christ sake, at least you're honest if you said that (no…not that I expect anyone to say it or admit that)…I'll continue this later.

"I don't believe in marriage."

…

Just…die already? Ok?

Fine…that was mean…but anyway…again…what you mean to say, is you don't believe in commitment; because after all, that's what marriage is. It's that bond between to people that says, "I will love you forever and always and it shall be to you and you alone." A reason I don't believe in polygamy…but I'm not going there (at least not in this blog). A large cause of divorce is people that don't keep their commitment, to love someone despite sickness, or in strength, or through the rich times, and the poor times (remember the wedding vows?). A man breaks his commitment and commits adultery, thus breaking the marriage and the sacred bond between two people.

Ramon…why don't you do us a favor and tell us your thoughts on what exactly is commitment to you?

SURE! GLAD YOU ASKED!

Simple: It's not going to be as complicated as my definition of love, which was provided in the "love blog." It's simply being faithful to something until its requirement is fulfilled. When someone signs a contract, they make a commitment to abide by the rules of that contract and to do certain things, or to pay a certain amount, or to avoid saying certain things/doing certain things, and so on so forth. If someone tries to find a way of getting out of that contract, such as filing a lawsuit to lower the interest rates on a credit card, or to find a way to avoid fulfilling civilian duties, such as paying taxes, jury duty, or being a pansy president and moving to Canada to avoid going to war; you break your commitment. When one cheats in a relationship (whether dating or married), you break your commitment. In situations such as marriage, that is a life-long and lasting commitment until you or your spouse dies…and yes, I do believe divorce is a means of breaking a commitment.

RAMON! What if my father was abusive to my mother? Is it wrong for my mom to desire a divorce? The moment your father abused your mother, he broke to commitment to take care of her. The marriage is already broken, even if it hasn't gone through legal terms. Moving on…

I bring this whole topic up, because of my being here in Davis for the pastoring job. It is a strong commitment…and I've struggled greatly. I'm leaving Davis and going home. Not out of my own will, but it was decided by the pastor and some church members that I simply came at a bad time, and they do not want to harm me (emotionally and mentally) with some of the happenings that have happened. I did make an argument to stay though, but the bottom line is that even with the struggles and hard time, I stuck my neck out and continued to try and keep the commitment I made. Even if it means sacrifice on health, sleep, or anything else. I've learned a lot through my stay, and I'm rather disappointed in having to leave early…but it's in God's hands and maybe one day, when things are settled, I'll be coming back.

I sat and though of my commitments. The commitment I made for this job; the commitment I have to Teaching Fellows. The commitment I have to my family. The promises I have made to some friends, to always be there and to love them through the hard times; the commitment I have made in following Christ; and other commitments. And I reflect that, yes…they're hard to keep…but commitments make us stronger, and help us to develop character, and to strengthen our own weaknesses.

It frustrates me to see guys (mainly)…and some girls…that would rather play "friends with benefits;" or to go around and flirt with every possible option out there and never settle down, because of the lustful desire to just want to have fun, and to enjoy the pleasure without the pain of going through the hard times with someone. I hate seeing a guy that says, "I'll always love you; you're the best thing that ever happened to me," to only end up dumping her for someone else that he'll say the same thing. I hate to see a guy, work hard to satisfy a lady, and to be loving and sweet, only for the girl to dump him, "looking for prince charming." …I really don't know…heh…like I told my friend… "Sometimes I just hate people ~.~," but nah…it's not that…I just have no tolerance for unfaithfulness and not committing to a single person (or thing, in the case of jobs, promises, and such).

Hope I didn't offend anyone, BUT…if I did…maybe you needed to here it, or you can just leave a comment yelling at me and correcting me in something you think I said wrong…or didn't phrase correctly. Whatever…love y'all anyway.

"The Burning Love of a Savior"

Was super bored...so I gave poetry (technically prose) a shot...sorta long...but you don't have to read it.

"The Burning Love of a Savior"

Fire
It is seen as a mean of destruction
Burning things in its path

Fire
Consuming something precious
Scarring it to a degree that makes it unrecognizable

But…

Fire
It is a means of warmth;
It comforts one in a cold situation

Fire
It takes a clay molding,
Something useless to all degree,
And hardens its foundation and structure
Into a useable vessel

Fire
It lights a path
Allowing one to see the road before him
The surrounding nature around her
And allows them to see each other

Fire
With a single spark it brings hope
For one that needs heat, that needs comfort,
That needs a light, or needs someone there;
It brings the hope that comes with seeing these things are attainable

Love
Always number one on the top five of "supply and demand"
Yet always the most confusing aspect of life
Something that comes so easily to a child
Yet seems so foreign to one that says "I'm mature"

Love
It too, when abused like fire
Can bring destruction
Causing two people that embrace each other
To develop hate and disgust

But

Love
It to can bring comfort
Aiding a lonely sole
It to can bring heat
Warming a cold heart

Love
It takes something so simple, such as clay
And molds it, not into what love wants it to be
But love, like fire, purifies tainted gold
Leaving that which is beautiful,
Making it in to the precious jewel it was always meant to be

Love
A single spark brings hope
Hope to the knowledge of never walking alone
The knowledge of enduring a storm
As that of a lighthouse that brings joy to a sailor

Fire…

Love…

Two in one, and they share the same characteristics…but must be met by a requirement…

The requirement of "two"

A fire needs both food to feed on, and air to keep it going
Without one, the fire dies
Without air, it loses its motivation to "stand"
Without something to feed on, it starves and dies

Love, requires "two"
A relationship between two
For like a fire, if there is only one person, and nothing else
There is nothing to love, and cannot exists

In the same manner, if a married couple does not work together
The fire dies, causing a sense of loneliness or discomfort
One must keep motivating the other with encouragement
The other must feed the first with commitment and strength

For if the wood or leaves that fed a fire left
Abandoning its commitment
The air would only be pushing in vain
For something that is already dead

The encouragement and passion of love
Allow that fire…that love…
To grow and light a path for others to see
For others to know that love does exist

In the likeness of a father to his son
A wife to her husband
There is a Savior committed to keep the flame in you
Burning without end

For with compassion and obedience to a heavenly Father
A passionate Son that refused to take his light off of you and me
That refused to let the hope of our lives fade away
A Savior that continues to feed and push us forward

The burning desire of a Son, whose will was to please his father,
A Son, who demonstrated that love on a cross, and three nails,
A Savior, that conquered death, so that you and I
Could experience that fire, and experience that love.

~Ramon D. Ruiz June 18, 2007

"Love (part 2)"

So...after having written 5 papers last night for sociology...I figured...why not actually write something that I wanna write? so yeah, continuation of the previous love blog. For those who haven't read that blog (which is pretty lengthy...in which this will probably be no shorter) here's the link so you don't have to go through my 50 million blogs to find it, that is if you're intersted. I don't think you'll need to read the previous blog to understand anything that's gonna be said in this one...but then again...what do i know, right?

Alright...so......just as a warning...this one might be a little more humorous than serious, as opposed to the last "Love" blog...
It's amazing that in today's society, we can stereotype men and women...but that after sometime,...you believe these stereotypes to make it your reality in how you percieve people...do i really need to go on this rant? no...but I will. Because it's funny.
Seriously...all you gotta do, is be married for...5...eh, or 10........minutes, and you'll realize...dude...she really is from Venus. or just hangout with someone of the opposite sex, in their own territorial environment (somewhere that they can let their hair down and not give a care in the world)...for...maybe 15 minutes...and it's over, there's no similarities between the two other than we all have a heart, two legs, two arms, 2 eyes (sometimes 1, for the unfortunate fellow that got messed up at the beach trying to fight a shark)...but you get the point. We think differently, and we emote differently. But at the same time...we forget that we're all human, we all make mistakes, and we're all made according to the purpose God has for us. What does that mean? How many times, ladies, have you gone around saying..."All guys are (Insert specific word here that usually defines an arrogant male...you know what word I'm talking about)" or "Men are just incompetent," or "All they want is sex?" How many times have us guys gone around saying, "All girls complain about everything," or "blame everything on PMS," or "their such (Insert random word here that isn't appropriate for younger kids)."
It's no wonder half the relationships out there don't work. A girl goes looking for a guy with the mindset that it doesn't matter who she finds, because either way, he's gonna be a jerk, right? (yeah...I'm just gonna be blunt about it). Some guys look for a girl, and he might actually be competent of commiting to a relationship and being for real, but then the girl slaps him across the face and says get real, no wonder he thinks that every girl he's gonna ask out is insane. So what happens? You begin to build a false sense of how you see people, making any relationship (as simple as just the basic friendship) harder than it should be. As a matter of fact, when there is no judgement or false reality taking place, it shouldn't be hard at all.
To the guys, and for the girls:
Learn to listen. This is where most men and women part ways. It's easy to say that women just like to hear themselves (whether it's true or not, i cannot determine...), or complain, or gossip, or whatever. But I found that even if a lady likes to talk, she's not just going to simply open up to you without cause. She's trusting you, and you violate that trust when you respond with, "uh huh...yeah...that's nice, sure...well that sucks" and you pretty much play the "I see your lips moving, but all I hear is, blah blah blah blah blah guy." If that's what she wanted, she'd probably be able to have a more effective conversation talking to herself in the mirror and giving herself advice or comfort.
Unlike us (men), women have found that emoting and not keeping things in, is the way things need to be. Sure, guys would live longer and happier lives if we weren't always getting yelled at, but hey, if she's yelling at you, you probably did something (OMG what a revelation). If she's crying, she's hurting. Use your brain dimwit, she emotes for a reason.
Women (well...I used to be able to say this...but not sure about today's society...but I'll say it anyway) are commited to the relationship and are ready for the fire that comes in pulling through the hard times. After all, that's what love does. Don't be a pansy and back out of the simplest things. That stuff of, "we just need a break" or "I just need to be alone for sometime" isn't gonna cut it. If you plan on pulling that junk off when you're married, you better have some good life insurance, and you better be sure you're headed to heaven, cuz it's a long ways down, buddy, if you mess with the wrong girl. Be a man, and stick it out.
Women aren't property, it's fine to be proud of your girl, but she's not your little trophy to put on display and act like you accomplished her. Don't treat her like utility where you get her to do what you want and just throw her aside when you don't need her, that's what younger siblings are for (alright alright...jk...~.~). She's a human being. She needs to here you say "I love you" and mean it. and if you don't know what love really is...now would be a good time to read the first blog.
To the girls, for the guys:
We have feelings too, alright? Sure, your typical guy doesn't go crying, but we get hurt, keep that in mind next time you think we're heartless; we clear? sweet
A guy that generally loves a girl treats her with respect, (he might be mean to others, but here's an education note for women, we like to joke and we aren't mean to be hurtful, it's usually an attempt to get noticed or flirt, since usually anything we do is not good enough for you anyway, why not be mean and at least get noticed?).
If you want advice, and we give it to you, and it is good advice...please listen to it and don't blow us off. It's bad enough to get us to listen anyway, we don't like to get blown off when trying to help. At least say thanks, and give a smile, it means the world to us.
Your minds are way to advanced. No joke. Half the guys out there will do anything to figure out what you're thinking. When talking to a guy, tell it to us straight, or at least provide some sort of hint for us to figure it out. Don't talk in codes ~.~. You girls can look at each other and practically read a book without saying a word; that don't work for us. If we hurt you, tell us. Cuz if you're expecting an apology or something, you ain't gonna get it if we don't know about it.
Ok...that's just a few things, I'm not gonna go way into...cuz that's a whole 'nother blog. But the point is, we percieve differently, and because of that, love becomes difficult due to the false reality of our beliefs.
But that's not the only thing that makes love difficult. Upon a relationship break up, usually one (more ofthen the female than the male) holds an attachment (whether they admit it or not) to that person they've broken up with. As a human, you don't entirely get over that person, perhaps even in the deepest parts of you, something wishes to be with that person, (numbers of possibilities)..and because of that, they don't know if they can love someone else again, or they don't want to run the risk of getting hurt again...
But that's where love steps in. You don't have to accept it, but I'll say it anyway, God is Love. And love fills those gaps in you, and restores your broken heart. It finds ways to allow you to see the good in people, and to understand that we all make mistakes. Love doesn't judge off of one person's actions. To often, we focus on the downfalls in life, and neglect to look at our blessings. To often, we'd rather remind everyone of a school shooting or crime...than notice the number of successful students that graduated from that school, and went on to change lives. And to often we'd rather focus in on the pain...feel sorry for ourselves, than to Love again, and feel whole.

Patience

Hokay, so…yeah, that blog on patience:
I've said this quote before in the past, but I'm not sure if it was a quote of the day or I just said it, but I'm going to rephrase it a little, because I think I used this quote in reference to relationships or something like that:

Patience shows your maturity. When a child earns money, the child wants to spend the money immediately on something he or she can afford, in which that toy or candy (or whatever) only provides contentment and a feeling of pleasure only for a moment; it doesn't last long. A responsible person, or an adult saves his or her money for something worth while; something that will last. Instead of spending money for the moment, one saves for something that provides joy for a long time, or something that is useful for a long time (such as a car…whatever, you get what I mean).

It takes patience to get anything good; all the great things in life take time, and don't come easy…If it comes easy, it's probably not right.

So what's the problem? We don't want to wait; we want the great things in life…now. We want the fun stuff, and all the things that provide that "happy feeling" but we don't want to deal with the labor, or the hard parts (ahem* like relationships: being there for the kisses, but bailing out of a commitment or an argument…or a promotion: you want the extra money, but you won't work harder for it) **Just on a side note…if you think you should get a raise for doing what you were getting paid to do in the first place, you need to wake up, you get a raise when they see you working diligently, and when they see you go beyond what's asked (its called initiative), but anyway, the blog is about patience…not getting a raise.**

We all know patience isn't easy; I don't need to write a quote of the day for anyone to figure that out, but it's very necessary in life. It shows character; those who can't wait often show immaturity and don't like when something doesn't go their way. Take a child that wants a toy, for instance; the parent says wait and the child sits for a minute followed by repetitious asking again, and eventually throws a temper tantrum on the Wal*Mart food aisle. Yeah…again I refer to a child…but how many times have I walked going to class at Pembroke, hearing some chick yelling on her cell phone because her mom won't buy her a car or is going to cut her cell phone? (stupid stuff like that, and is stupid to yell about considering the person yelling wasn't the one spending their own money to begin with for whatever it is she's not getting). A patient person waits, and gets what they want by diligence, and not by yelling or complaining.

By the way, people, patience isn't waiting a day and getting it the next day. Patience is waiting passionately as long as it takes until what the door of opportunity opens for your desire to come true. I say passionately, because if you don't really care for it, you can more than likely do without it, or don't really need it, your time is non refundable and should be spent waiting on something you really care about. I also say the door of opportunity, because waiting doesn't mean that in time, that one thing you wanted will come for you, it just simply means with time, options come to you to start you plan to then accomplish getting what you wanted. Such as really wanting a house: waiting doesn't mean someone will just walk up and give you the deed (though I've seen that too), but maybe after time, a good deal comes along that your finances can manage and it won't put you in debt. Or wanting a good career…and so the opportunity to go to a good school that specializes in preparing people for that career comes to you with a scholarship (or in some cases, simply accepts you into their program…such as a really good medical school).

Last time a guy got rich overnight…I think he sold drugs or killed someone (or won the lottery…but…fat chance of that happening right?). It takes time for the right things to happen. So hey…if you don't understand something, or things are looking down…just keep you head up and press forward, don't give up your dream and in good time, you'll get what you desire. After all…Jesus COULD have said I quit and decided not to go through the whole crucifixion process and left us hanging rather than letting him being patient with people like us right? Yeah…just a thought. I'm done…night