Well before I actually start writing the focus of this (not that anyone is reading this anyway or has any clue its been posted)... I need lots of prayer. Yeah, lots of changes, lots of beating myself up, and moving on...
There's a big difference between the two... one of which is a "must," and one of which is a "sometimes." And while some may get these two confused, its amusing to note that neither one relate to each other in anyway. In my struggles, I come to remember as I ask for God's grace... that He has compassion on me... but to note that He does not tolerate my faults. Sin is sin, truth is not relative, and no matter what the excuse is, a wrong doing simply cannot be right.
So its a burden to come to church and to feel division amongst leaders; however, the most bothersome details occur when youth are involved in such hostilities. In today's society... just about everything is considered "normal" and nothing comes as a shocker to anyone for any reason (unless you're just "old-fashioned" or "radical conservative"). I don't believe kids should be able to just express themselves however they want, especially in the church when the Bible lays down firm rules and commandments... but my focus is not going to be attacking youth for what they do wrong... rather... to remind the church to have compassion on them. Not to tolerate they're wrong doings, but to remember that above all things, love is key. Its easy to judge someone, especially when things are presented in a half manner. Good example would be facebook or myspace. When viewing a friends' page and comments, you can easily see the comments left on that person's wall; but sometimes you can't see the replies to that person--therefore presenting a one-sided outlook on what is happening. I know I've done it several times, having seen what someone said about something and completely having false assumptions of what is happening, and not knowing the full detail of what is being done (yeah I'm perfectly aware that this is a horrible example, not to mention that not everyone is facebook/myspace literate, but whatever). The same is applied when looking at youth. We see their behaviors and assume so many wrong things, and we almost want to send certain kids to certain corners of the room, as if to say that child were a monster; a Quasimoto of Notredame that shouldn't be seen in public (or at least... "not in church"). I've seen so many sermon's preached to youth about sin, hell, and the life style's teens live. "Oh yeah, when you're in the back seat of the car doing this and that," "Oh when you're on the computer and no one is looking," "Remember God is watching you when you're worshipping at church and cursing with your friends." This is not to say that none of this can be true at any given time; but youth are not dumb. They're perfectly aware of thier actions, and if they don't change after 20 times of accusing the child, what makes you think the 21st time will be any different? Maybe a new approach is needed... similar to what Jesus did. He had compassion, not tolerance. There were times growing up that I would get in trouble, but for some reason, after a talk with the parents, they decided not to punish me... or that they would only punish me lighly (compared to "what it could have been"). They sat me down and told me what I did was wrong; therefore, they didn't embrace my wrong doing, but they did embrace me. They showed me that they still loved me, but that I needed to be careful of what I did, and that my actions were not acceptable. Why don't we do this with the youth of today's generation? Why can't we speak of God's love and testify of the good things that have happened? I've never once seen a kid enjoyed getting yelled at, but i have seen kids enjoy a story of how someone went through a major crisis and how things fell into place, and getting that person out of their dilemna (spelling? ... whatever... I'm not an English major).
I'm no where near perfect; no where near where I even want to be. But I do know that i respond more positively when shown compassion (without tolerance), than to be scolded and not even given a chance.
I want to sponser a youth revival. I don't know how, I don't know who, I don't know when or where. Who will speak? Who will lead praise and worship, and who do I define as youth? But I want the opportunity of God's love to be made evident in the lives of youth around this region. To hear testimonies of God's compassionate grace; to know that the condemning words of church leaders and parents are not the final words, but that God's grace is sufficient, and that He is our saviour and shepherd. A time at the alter where people can come to be prayed for whatever they want without having to go into detail... to remember that its between them and God, or to come to the alter and pray for others that have faught similar battles in the past. To leave with a fire that consumes them and to remember their first true love wasn't a girl or a guy, but a comforting friend whose name is Jesus. I know this is needed for such a time as this... I know it, and I need it. Oh I pray to God for his compassion; his discipline; and his healing touch. I've lost so much, but through it all... through the hard times in school... the failures at my own passion and talent... through the loss of the dearest of friends... I recieved back the one thing that mattered most, and I don't want to lose that again.
Wednesday, December 24, 2008
Wednesday, June 18, 2008
"Losing Control"
I'm reminded of something my Pastor said last year. My pastor really likes planes and flying (his office has models of planes) and so he actually worked and studied to get a flying liscence. He talked once in a sermon, about being in a situation where as a pilot, you want to have control over your plane... but sometimes things happen and you don't know what to do. Here's the story he gave:
Upon learning to fly a plane, a young student was in the air and all of a sudden, the plane stalled. It started going down and the young man, panicking, gripped the handles and tried to pull it up and fix the plane, while calling into the tower reporting that his plane was stalling. The men in the tower quickly yelled, "LET GO OF THE HANDLE BARS." The young man didn't want to listen and couldn't understand the concept of how doing so would help... it would only cause the plane to get further out of control... wouldn't it? He continued to panic and the tower continued to panic with him by yelling, "LET GO OF THE CONTROLS!" Sad to say, the young man wouldn't let go of the controls... and the plane ultimately crashed, where the young man lost more than control... he lost his life.
I was curious to know where my pastor was going with this story; though after hearing what he said afterwards, it made so much sense and almost seemed obvious to see the importance of this story. Pastor Keeter told us; in flight school, they tell you, "If a plane stalls, let go of the controls, because the plane is designed to regulate itself and fix the problem by itself; however, the plane cannot regain control and fix the problem... if you try to fix the controls yourself."
In life, we face decisions... and circumstances that we sometimes don't like, don't understand, or even hate. You might be well off one day, and all of a sudden circumstances take hold and ruin your financial status--leaving you in ruins. Someone may do everything they can to help someone, sacrificing time, energy, sometimes sleep or other necessities--just to end up failing the person. Other times, life just throws everything that can possibly go wrong your way: money problems, relationship problems, family problems, academic struggles, problems at work, misunderstandings with friends, lack of support when you need it, no encouragement, or even saddening circumstances such as a child going through their parents divorce, starvation, or even the loss of a close friend or family member. A young lady may have a desire to get a degree, working hard, and the mistake of sex before marraige may produce a pregnancy that causes her to dropout of school. A woman may struggle with relationships; dreaming of the one God has for her, and a man that may have fit those expectations may end up with someone else, or even worse, he may have turned into a fraud that is abusive or hurtful towards the young lady--leaving her in shambles and afraid to speak up. A man might work to support his family, in which he barely gets by financially, or feels upset that he cannot afford luxeries or the best for his loved ones; and then gets laid off of work due to cuts or the business moving overseas. There are so many things that happen throughout life, that we do not understand, and obviously... wish we did understand them. There have been times that each and every person has prayed to God asking, "Why, Lord? I don't get it?" or... "What did I do wrong?"
We are all pilots... flying the plane of life. We get in the cockpit and we have to take off; but as they say, "What goes up, must come down." Its up to us, though, how we're going to come down. Are you going to land a safe landing in the straight away? Or will you crash? We might be the ones piloting the plane, but there's a greater voice in the command tower that is guiding our decisions, telling us not what might be the right thing to do, or what should work or things of that nature... neither does that voice make suggestions, rather it tells us what to do... knowing, however, that we have to choose to listen or ingore that voice. God's in the control tower, and sometimes we do something wrong, and don't understand the circumstances in our life; and God is simply telling us, "Let go of the controls, I'll take care of you."
The problem is that sometimes we focus on the circumstance at hand. We are told by everyone else what we should do, or what we shouldn't do. People see you with money and think, "You should go and buy yourself something," when maybe God is telling you, I want you to bless this person over here and give them the money. "What?" we think. We may not even know the person, but God does, and He may know the person is struggling and is in need, or maybe that money is just a means to reach out to them and witness. Sometimes a man or woman desires intimacy, and instead of waiting for the right person, they resort to the clubs and bars, telling themselves, "I've got one chance to live this life and I might as well have fun." And yet we hear and read in the news all the time of rape victims or people who have gone missing. Or someone might just go on a exodus to find the next single person, and if he or she looks good and at least meets some of the criteria that he or she has in finding someone, then they'll settle... often compromising many of the important things they want in a man or woman. This usually leads to heavy disagreements and fights... and broken relationships/friendships. Many times we want to listen to everyone else and not even pray about decisions face in our life. What good does it for a pilot to call one of his passengers and tell them, "We're going to crash, any ideas?" You might have someone that just panics and starts yelling... telling you everything except... good ideas... (or any ideas for that matter, they just might be yelling). Sometimes you'll get a passenger that thinks like you do and says, "Fix it! Grab the wheel and pull up!" It might seem like the right advice... but it isn't. But then sometimes, you'll find that man or woman that says, "Call in the control tower, I'm sure they may be able to help." There might be that one friend that says, "I can think of a million things to say... but why don't you pray and ask God? After all... He's in control."
We've got to let go of the controls sometimes, and simply let God do His job. When we start stalling, it doesn't mean that we did something wrong... it may simply be an obstacle or trial (such as the turbulance of life). Sometimes we go through clouds, and we can't see our way, but we have to trust God that He guides our path. We can't see below us or above us, but we have to trust that God is holding us every step of the way. And another thing about planes... there's no looking back... you've got to shoot forward on the path that God gives you. And if you get of course, sometimes it takes a lot of work and adjustments to get back on track. Sometimes the flight is tiring, and we feel like we're "running out of gas," and we can't go on any further, and we land short of our destination, and God has to refill us and give us encouragement to continue on. But ultimately, we have to remember that He is in control; and knows whats best.
So don't fear when facing financial problems. Don't fret when relationships don't go your way. Don't panic when you go through issues at work or at school. And don't be dismayed when stuggles appear in the family or between friends. Trust God. Let go of the controls, and He'll take care of you.
Upon learning to fly a plane, a young student was in the air and all of a sudden, the plane stalled. It started going down and the young man, panicking, gripped the handles and tried to pull it up and fix the plane, while calling into the tower reporting that his plane was stalling. The men in the tower quickly yelled, "LET GO OF THE HANDLE BARS." The young man didn't want to listen and couldn't understand the concept of how doing so would help... it would only cause the plane to get further out of control... wouldn't it? He continued to panic and the tower continued to panic with him by yelling, "LET GO OF THE CONTROLS!" Sad to say, the young man wouldn't let go of the controls... and the plane ultimately crashed, where the young man lost more than control... he lost his life.
I was curious to know where my pastor was going with this story; though after hearing what he said afterwards, it made so much sense and almost seemed obvious to see the importance of this story. Pastor Keeter told us; in flight school, they tell you, "If a plane stalls, let go of the controls, because the plane is designed to regulate itself and fix the problem by itself; however, the plane cannot regain control and fix the problem... if you try to fix the controls yourself."
In life, we face decisions... and circumstances that we sometimes don't like, don't understand, or even hate. You might be well off one day, and all of a sudden circumstances take hold and ruin your financial status--leaving you in ruins. Someone may do everything they can to help someone, sacrificing time, energy, sometimes sleep or other necessities--just to end up failing the person. Other times, life just throws everything that can possibly go wrong your way: money problems, relationship problems, family problems, academic struggles, problems at work, misunderstandings with friends, lack of support when you need it, no encouragement, or even saddening circumstances such as a child going through their parents divorce, starvation, or even the loss of a close friend or family member. A young lady may have a desire to get a degree, working hard, and the mistake of sex before marraige may produce a pregnancy that causes her to dropout of school. A woman may struggle with relationships; dreaming of the one God has for her, and a man that may have fit those expectations may end up with someone else, or even worse, he may have turned into a fraud that is abusive or hurtful towards the young lady--leaving her in shambles and afraid to speak up. A man might work to support his family, in which he barely gets by financially, or feels upset that he cannot afford luxeries or the best for his loved ones; and then gets laid off of work due to cuts or the business moving overseas. There are so many things that happen throughout life, that we do not understand, and obviously... wish we did understand them. There have been times that each and every person has prayed to God asking, "Why, Lord? I don't get it?" or... "What did I do wrong?"
We are all pilots... flying the plane of life. We get in the cockpit and we have to take off; but as they say, "What goes up, must come down." Its up to us, though, how we're going to come down. Are you going to land a safe landing in the straight away? Or will you crash? We might be the ones piloting the plane, but there's a greater voice in the command tower that is guiding our decisions, telling us not what might be the right thing to do, or what should work or things of that nature... neither does that voice make suggestions, rather it tells us what to do... knowing, however, that we have to choose to listen or ingore that voice. God's in the control tower, and sometimes we do something wrong, and don't understand the circumstances in our life; and God is simply telling us, "Let go of the controls, I'll take care of you."
The problem is that sometimes we focus on the circumstance at hand. We are told by everyone else what we should do, or what we shouldn't do. People see you with money and think, "You should go and buy yourself something," when maybe God is telling you, I want you to bless this person over here and give them the money. "What?" we think. We may not even know the person, but God does, and He may know the person is struggling and is in need, or maybe that money is just a means to reach out to them and witness. Sometimes a man or woman desires intimacy, and instead of waiting for the right person, they resort to the clubs and bars, telling themselves, "I've got one chance to live this life and I might as well have fun." And yet we hear and read in the news all the time of rape victims or people who have gone missing. Or someone might just go on a exodus to find the next single person, and if he or she looks good and at least meets some of the criteria that he or she has in finding someone, then they'll settle... often compromising many of the important things they want in a man or woman. This usually leads to heavy disagreements and fights... and broken relationships/friendships. Many times we want to listen to everyone else and not even pray about decisions face in our life. What good does it for a pilot to call one of his passengers and tell them, "We're going to crash, any ideas?" You might have someone that just panics and starts yelling... telling you everything except... good ideas... (or any ideas for that matter, they just might be yelling). Sometimes you'll get a passenger that thinks like you do and says, "Fix it! Grab the wheel and pull up!" It might seem like the right advice... but it isn't. But then sometimes, you'll find that man or woman that says, "Call in the control tower, I'm sure they may be able to help." There might be that one friend that says, "I can think of a million things to say... but why don't you pray and ask God? After all... He's in control."
We've got to let go of the controls sometimes, and simply let God do His job. When we start stalling, it doesn't mean that we did something wrong... it may simply be an obstacle or trial (such as the turbulance of life). Sometimes we go through clouds, and we can't see our way, but we have to trust God that He guides our path. We can't see below us or above us, but we have to trust that God is holding us every step of the way. And another thing about planes... there's no looking back... you've got to shoot forward on the path that God gives you. And if you get of course, sometimes it takes a lot of work and adjustments to get back on track. Sometimes the flight is tiring, and we feel like we're "running out of gas," and we can't go on any further, and we land short of our destination, and God has to refill us and give us encouragement to continue on. But ultimately, we have to remember that He is in control; and knows whats best.
So don't fear when facing financial problems. Don't fret when relationships don't go your way. Don't panic when you go through issues at work or at school. And don't be dismayed when stuggles appear in the family or between friends. Trust God. Let go of the controls, and He'll take care of you.
Sunday, June 15, 2008
"Fire Fall Down" -- A Passion for Christ
I was talking to a friend one night, and these thoughts have been with me since as I sat thinking about this song. One of the most amazing things... and not in a good way... that I see in life... is how "unloving" Christians can really be. Yes... Christians are people just like anyone else... and struggle, just like everyone else. True strive for our best and to do right, and are just as suseptable to negative thoughts like anyone else. And have desires just like everyone else; whether they be good or bad. But what gets me is that we call each other brothers and sisters, and sons and daughters of the most high King; and yet we can be so self-centered. How do I explain this concept? Easy.
There used to be a time... that people didn't look at each other and judge people based on their denomination or skin color, their gender or their language; rather we all came together and knew being a Christian meant being a follower of Christ. The church used to be a haven of refuge for people to run to for help, and they would recieve it. Paul understood these things as he ministered throughout Asia and made it clear of his mistakes and what he wished for, yet never condemning people or discriminating. He simply wished that everyone had what he had... a humble wish: To be passionate for Christ. Today, the church is divided in hundreds of denominations. A church will look at another denomination with disgust because of the differences in their doctrine. Churches have segregated themselves and instead of focusing on God, have chosen to focus on what the people want. Forgetting that the bible says that God is coming back for a church that is passionate for Him. It should be the desire of the people in that church to want to do God's will. Today, the southern baptist churches of the Eastern Region of the USA have been noted as some of the most discriminatory churches. It is sad to say, but there are those that call themselves Christians, and believe in a dominant race that is above others. Even in the Pentacostal Church of God, there are several old fashioned leaders that look down on women that desire to preach. I assume these people weren't aware of women such as Ruth, Esther, Mary, and Mariam (sister of Moses)--just to name a few. Who are we to push women to the corners of the church and say that God cannot inspire them with His words... that women must be only allowed to teach Sunday School, play piano for praise and worship/sing in the chior, and watch kids in the nursery? Some pastors say... they can participate in music... but we don't let them lead it. God called all men unto Him... and we as Christians have done a good job at putting standards around who qualifies as "all men" depending on the church. We're too quick too point out issues such as tattoos (btw: Leviticus 19:28---doesn't get any clearer than that) or hair length, or even the physical content of what we wear. It is practically condemned by some churches not to wear dress clothes for service. Did we forget the less fortunate, or those who struggle to get by? We're so quick to judge that we don't take time to love those that may want to be "presentable" (by man's terms) to God, but can't. AND I put quotes around presentable for a reason... Is it not God who determines the heart of a man and who shall enter into the gates to His Kingdom? We want to do whatever we want to do, and we'll go miles upon miles trying to justify our actions, as if we wrote the bible and had the liberty to say, "Well.. what God really meant to say was..." We want to be Christians, but we don't want to give up some things. We use "The bible says not to get drunk," as an excuse to drink--and half the time people get drunk anyway. We say the bible doesn't say anything about defiling our bodies or drugs when the bible clearly says our bodies are the temple of Christ and should respected and kept clean. You interpret the Bible how you want, but the question you should ask yourself is, "Is God's way the write way, or is justifying my way with my thoughts going to make it the write way." Just remember He's the one on the throne with the say so--not you or me.
I have been listening to this song, "Fire Fall Down," by Hillsong United. I have a dvd of these people live in concert, in which they do this song... and many things stick out in my mind as I watch. Its the hearts of each young person... setting aside everything with only one thing in mind: to glorify God. As I listen to words in this song... I notice that we must come to a point in which we forget ourselves and choose to follow Christ. It should be passion for His love that drives us to pray the repeated prayer, "Fire Fall Down on us." What is that Fire? It is His power, His love, His forgiveness, mercy, and grace... that we do NOT deserve.
"Fire Fall Down," by Hillsong United
Verse 1:
You bought my life with the blood
That you shed on the cross
When you died for the sins of men
And you let out a cry, crucified
Now alive in me.
Chorus:
Cause I know that you're alive
You came to fix my broken life
And I'll sing to glorify
Your Holy name, Jesus Christ
Verse 2:
These hands are yours
Teach them to serve
As you please and I'll reach out
Desperate to see all the greatness of God
May my soul rest assured in you
Bridge 1:
Fire fall down
Fire fall down
On us we pray
As we seek
Fire fall down
Your fire fall down
On us we pray
Bridge 2:
Show me your heart
Show me your way
Show me your glory
My prayer to God:
"Lord I pray the day when "Christians" will rise and forget about what denomination they are... the rules and traditions that people refuse to let go of... and the differences between our brothers and sisters that we put so much emphasis on... to where we will all cry out with a voice of praise that is true to You; with a desire and passion for Your love and fire to fall down on our lives and that our only desire will be to seek Your heart, seek Your will, and to give You glory."
Thursday, June 12, 2008
"Why do Bad Things Happen to Such Good People?"
Last night, after church, I came home, and naturally the first thing I do is read everyone's away messages. Oddly enough, the first away message…and the only away message I read was from a friend, in which it asked the question, "Why do bad things happen to such good people?" This weekend has been one of those strong weekends against several people. A friend lost his fiancé in an auto accident, and one of my friends' friend's father was killed (murdered). It's one of those questions we ask ourselves all the time…whether it is something as terrible as a death, or as something as simple as stress… or maybe even to the extent of not feeling appreciated or just being left out. Regardless…we all wonder "why?" though. How come…a young lady who lived her life to please God, and was pure in heart, would lose her life? Why does a man who struggled to meet ends meet in a family, and work hard, be killed? Even going back a little in time…the two officers that were killed in Charlotte…two men that had families…and just wanted to protect their community…
I read her away message…and I just started typing…I didn't ask what was wrong…if there was something even wrong (for all I knew, it could have just been a thought), and I didn't ask if she needed someone to talk to…I just started typing (just as a side note, she did tell me exactly what it was that happened and such afterwards…but anyway).
And it's something that I think everyone (mainly my fellow Christians) needs to hear (read). I understand that by writing this, some of you may disagree with me, because it is a perspective related to God, but it's what I believed, it's what she accepted, and it's a perspective you may want to consider down the road. I'm not forcing my beliefs on anyone, but they're there if anyone wants to talk.
Notice: I'm a Christian…and as a Christian, I believe without a shadow of a doubt, that everything is inspired by God…and everything comes from God; therefore, I give myself no credit in any of what is written: This is what I typed minus a few non-relevant comments here and there. My writing in red, hers in black (dude…I'm going to change that…make my writing blue…red reminds me of those Bibles where "Jesus words in Red"…yeah…I'm far from it…let's go blue…and some may have heard some of these references that I give throughout the writing…but hey…if it works…why change it?):
Me: Jeremy Camp has an album out, "Live: Unplugged". It comes with a DVD. In the DVD, he talks about how he lost his wife to cancer after 4 months of being married (bad thing happening to a good person)
Girl: oh man
Me: He prayed to God and he was angry, because the bible says in some parts, that "God Heals." And he questioned God saying, "Why didn't you heal my wife?"
Girl: I know...that what I'm doing now...wondering why god allowed this to happen
Me: he asked so many questions, but the main thing he asked God was, "Why? I don't want to know anything else but 'why?'"
Me: God replied: "I don't want you to know why, because if you knew...it wouldn't be walking by faith, now would it?"
Girl: I guess that's true, it's just sad when innocent people die
Me: yeah...just Friday, one of my youth pastors...his fiancé died
Girl: oh man
Me: hit in an auto accident, they were scheduled to be married October, I believe
Me: but even then...we don't know why it happens...and I'd be lying to say I know, or to even give you any excuses...cause I know I've asked that question "Why?" so many times without an answer
Me: but God knows, and we just have to trust in him. And walk by faith
Me: "For we're called to walk by faith and not by sight." and though it's not easy, perhaps it is a trial we go through to test our faith in God and to become stronger...knowing as a reminder that tomorrow isn't promised to anyone
Girl: its times like these that I tend to lose faith in God when I really should be focusing on it and allowing that to help me through these rough times
Me: yes...I hear you loud and clearly…Spring break...I went to Louisiana on a mission trip…but, I was torn apart...distressed about so much, and I literally cried about the entire ride down there and...I had bought that Jeremy Camp DVD before leaving...just because. I also bought my laptop and I just decided to pop it in
Me: and that's when I heard Jeremy Camp's testimony
Girl: good timing
Me: every so often, something happens, and I get frustrated...but I recall those words, "I don't want you to know. Because if you did...it wouldn't be walking by faith"...I went outside one night, while everyone else was talking outside one of the nights I was there (at Louisiana) and just yelled at God.
Me: I didn't really think about the words Camp said in that video, but I remember being angry and saying, "I'm tired of comfort…I'm tired of encouragement…I don't want to hear, 'it's going to be ok'…I just want to know "why?" Why do I go through these things?
Me: "I see people who act so wrong in things they do, I strive to do your will and to walk as a Christian. When am I going to get my blessing? When am I going to be the one who receives healing? When am I going to be the one that will feel restored? When Lord? Why?
Me: and then and there I remembered those words (I don't want you to know why…)...and I cried praying for the very things I yelled at God saying I didn't want…
Me: encouragement, comfort, and to hear God say "You're going to be ok"
Me: We all stand strong at some point, but then God finally breaks us down and we realize we can't do anything and we're no one without him. It took me a long time to realize that. It took me forever to realize...that just because I walk with God, and do things at church, that it doesn't mean my life will be easier...
(Side note* this is where it can get controversial to some, especially when it comes to "talk of the devil" and such, but guess what…I DON'T CARE! =D also keeps in mind this conversation was from one Christian to anther. But I think what is said here applies to all Christians and not just her…since we wonder from time to time…"how is it we follow Christ and always feel like we're being attacked?")
Me: as a matter of fact...one of the youth pastors said last Wednesday: Satan is after those who are walking with God. think about it...
Me: why would bad things happen to bad people? Satan has them already, he has nothing to worry about. It's me and you; however, that he worries about...because we're on our way to heaven...and we're a threat to him
Me: So Satan says, "you know what? Let me attack Ramon (actually I put her name here…but for the sake of privacy…), and try to weaken. Because if I can knock him off her feet, and feel bad, and lose faith...then I don't have to worry about him reaching out to people in the future...and she'll be just like anyone else
Me: Satan knows you're someone...and he realizes you're a threat...so he's going to attack you however he can. But that's when you walk by faith and tell him that you might not see what's going on...but you're a child of God…and God has you in his hands.
There was a little more said here and their, but as said…it was directly relevant to my point here…and I tried to shorten it as best I could…but it's "me" we're talking about... The bottom line…is that we honestly don't know why it happens. I'll never know why my dad packed his bags and left, why I had to go through a tough child hood (yes…I know…we all have our tough childhood stories), and so on so forth…but in all honesty…does it matter? In this life…we just simply need to walk by faith…and just learn to trust. Not just God, but one another; after all, God uses people. We watch the news…and we hear about all the deaths…but we don't ever notice the good things that happen around us. I bet some of you can't even think of something good because you're head has been filled with nothing but negative stuff. Take on a new perspective: "Walk by Faith."
I read her away message…and I just started typing…I didn't ask what was wrong…if there was something even wrong (for all I knew, it could have just been a thought), and I didn't ask if she needed someone to talk to…I just started typing (just as a side note, she did tell me exactly what it was that happened and such afterwards…but anyway).
And it's something that I think everyone (mainly my fellow Christians) needs to hear (read). I understand that by writing this, some of you may disagree with me, because it is a perspective related to God, but it's what I believed, it's what she accepted, and it's a perspective you may want to consider down the road. I'm not forcing my beliefs on anyone, but they're there if anyone wants to talk.
Notice: I'm a Christian…and as a Christian, I believe without a shadow of a doubt, that everything is inspired by God…and everything comes from God; therefore, I give myself no credit in any of what is written: This is what I typed minus a few non-relevant comments here and there. My writing in red, hers in black (dude…I'm going to change that…make my writing blue…red reminds me of those Bibles where "Jesus words in Red"…yeah…I'm far from it…let's go blue…and some may have heard some of these references that I give throughout the writing…but hey…if it works…why change it?):
Me: Jeremy Camp has an album out, "Live: Unplugged". It comes with a DVD. In the DVD, he talks about how he lost his wife to cancer after 4 months of being married (bad thing happening to a good person)
Girl: oh man
Me: He prayed to God and he was angry, because the bible says in some parts, that "God Heals." And he questioned God saying, "Why didn't you heal my wife?"
Girl: I know...that what I'm doing now...wondering why god allowed this to happen
Me: he asked so many questions, but the main thing he asked God was, "Why? I don't want to know anything else but 'why?'"
Me: God replied: "I don't want you to know why, because if you knew...it wouldn't be walking by faith, now would it?"
Girl: I guess that's true, it's just sad when innocent people die
Me: yeah...just Friday, one of my youth pastors...his fiancé died
Girl: oh man
Me: hit in an auto accident, they were scheduled to be married October, I believe
Me: but even then...we don't know why it happens...and I'd be lying to say I know, or to even give you any excuses...cause I know I've asked that question "Why?" so many times without an answer
Me: but God knows, and we just have to trust in him. And walk by faith
Me: "For we're called to walk by faith and not by sight." and though it's not easy, perhaps it is a trial we go through to test our faith in God and to become stronger...knowing as a reminder that tomorrow isn't promised to anyone
Girl: its times like these that I tend to lose faith in God when I really should be focusing on it and allowing that to help me through these rough times
Me: yes...I hear you loud and clearly…Spring break...I went to Louisiana on a mission trip…but, I was torn apart...distressed about so much, and I literally cried about the entire ride down there and...I had bought that Jeremy Camp DVD before leaving...just because. I also bought my laptop and I just decided to pop it in
Me: and that's when I heard Jeremy Camp's testimony
Girl: good timing
Me: every so often, something happens, and I get frustrated...but I recall those words, "I don't want you to know. Because if you did...it wouldn't be walking by faith"...I went outside one night, while everyone else was talking outside one of the nights I was there (at Louisiana) and just yelled at God.
Me: I didn't really think about the words Camp said in that video, but I remember being angry and saying, "I'm tired of comfort…I'm tired of encouragement…I don't want to hear, 'it's going to be ok'…I just want to know "why?" Why do I go through these things?
Me: "I see people who act so wrong in things they do, I strive to do your will and to walk as a Christian. When am I going to get my blessing? When am I going to be the one who receives healing? When am I going to be the one that will feel restored? When Lord? Why?
Me: and then and there I remembered those words (I don't want you to know why…)...and I cried praying for the very things I yelled at God saying I didn't want…
Me: encouragement, comfort, and to hear God say "You're going to be ok"
Me: We all stand strong at some point, but then God finally breaks us down and we realize we can't do anything and we're no one without him. It took me a long time to realize that. It took me forever to realize...that just because I walk with God, and do things at church, that it doesn't mean my life will be easier...
(Side note* this is where it can get controversial to some, especially when it comes to "talk of the devil" and such, but guess what…I DON'T CARE! =D also keeps in mind this conversation was from one Christian to anther. But I think what is said here applies to all Christians and not just her…since we wonder from time to time…"how is it we follow Christ and always feel like we're being attacked?")
Me: as a matter of fact...one of the youth pastors said last Wednesday: Satan is after those who are walking with God. think about it...
Me: why would bad things happen to bad people? Satan has them already, he has nothing to worry about. It's me and you; however, that he worries about...because we're on our way to heaven...and we're a threat to him
Me: So Satan says, "you know what? Let me attack Ramon (actually I put her name here…but for the sake of privacy…), and try to weaken. Because if I can knock him off her feet, and feel bad, and lose faith...then I don't have to worry about him reaching out to people in the future...and she'll be just like anyone else
Me: Satan knows you're someone...and he realizes you're a threat...so he's going to attack you however he can. But that's when you walk by faith and tell him that you might not see what's going on...but you're a child of God…and God has you in his hands.
There was a little more said here and their, but as said…it was directly relevant to my point here…and I tried to shorten it as best I could…but it's "me" we're talking about... The bottom line…is that we honestly don't know why it happens. I'll never know why my dad packed his bags and left, why I had to go through a tough child hood (yes…I know…we all have our tough childhood stories), and so on so forth…but in all honesty…does it matter? In this life…we just simply need to walk by faith…and just learn to trust. Not just God, but one another; after all, God uses people. We watch the news…and we hear about all the deaths…but we don't ever notice the good things that happen around us. I bet some of you can't even think of something good because you're head has been filled with nothing but negative stuff. Take on a new perspective: "Walk by Faith."
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