"Commitment"

It's been a while since I've done a serious, long writing, in which…the scary side of Ramon that speaks his mind comes out.

As most of you (my readers) know…I left home for the summer to take on a summer job as a youth worker/pastor. I struggled greatly before that time because of summer school, and I had to put off this desire to help this church for a later time. Some people may have looked at this and said, "Well…you were supposed to be there for 10 weeks, and now you're only going for 5 weeks…You've lost a lot of time; why don't you just give it up?" Other than the fact that working with youth is one of my passions in life; it's fairly simple: Commitment.

Oh yeah…that word…

It scares some people "half to death," and if you say it twice you just might kill them all the way.

You here it all the time, "I don't want to do that job, because it's a lot of work," or "I don't believe in marriage," perhaps "I'm not ready for a relationship," or "It's not worth my time and effort."

Now…most of these statements can be true, and inarguable. If you're doing a nine-to-five job that barely pays 4 dollars an hour (which yes…it's below the minimum wage…but for the sake of examples), I'd say, "yeah…you're right, that is a lot of work for pretty much nothing." And "It's not worth my time and effort" can apply for that same scenario. Perhaps you're a very independent person, or you used to simply being alone… "I'm not ready for a relationship" is probably pure honesty and I can't argue with that. As for "I don't believe in marriage…"…Don't even get me on that tangent (too late, it's coming later).

I almost forgot my disclaimer:

This is my opinion; which come straight from the heart and the bias of a man that's been single forever and is a strong conservative Christian. Don't like what I have to say? I'm not forcing you to read. I accept criticism, and if you feel the need to yell at me your disagreement or call me out for whatever reason, go ahead; I'm not going to get offended.

Okay…so… "I don't want to do that job, because it's a lot of work." Now if you're one of these people that are looking for a job where you can literally sit down and play video games all day and expect to get paid for acting like a child…grow up. Please. Or at least allow me to buy you some diapers and some baby formula. That's a case of someone who doesn't want to submit to the authority of an executive administrator and is afraid of that commitment of having to get up at 8 in the morning to get to work at 9 and have to actually do something for a paycheck (never mind the soldiers that get up at 4:30 in the morning and work until the job is done, which can be well after dinner time, and don't complain about having to work for a paycheck while they're in foreign countries, fighting for the freedom you have to open your mouth and complain).

"It's not worth my time or effort." Or perhaps it is, but anything that requires time and effort usually is something undesirable…and again…refer to the previous paragraph.

"I'm not ready for a relationship"…or "the commitment that comes with a relationship." Ah…this is where I lose…ALL my readers, maybe, depends how you take it. Not calling anyone out, so don't take it personal (ok…I'm lying, I'm calling one particular girl that I grew up with that doesn't read my blogs and whom I haven't communicated since…middle school/early high school? So she doesn't count). Now like I said with the example I gave earlier…there are some instances where this statement is true, and I won't argue with it. But take for instance the young lady that wants to date someone, do whatever…breaks up with them and says, "I just wasn't ready for a relationship" and then starts flirting again with other guys and ends up in a relationship again. Now tell me…that the problem is that you're not ready for a relationship, and I will personally slap you myself. The second statement that I gave at the beginning of this paragraph would be more accurate: "I'm not ready for the commitment that comes with a relationship." Now coming from a guy that thinks more than he should…if I see a guy (or girl) break up with someone, using the excuse I'm just not ready for a relationship…and you end up dating someone else (ok people…and I don't mean like a year later, lets talk days or a some short period of time)…the way I see it: You were in a relationship and you said, "You know…there's a lot of girls (or guys) out there to mess around with, and I really don't want to be constrained to the idea of being faithful to just one girl (or guy), therefore, let's call it off so that I have the freedom of playing games with every single person out there and it "be ok." For Christ sake, at least you're honest if you said that (no…not that I expect anyone to say it or admit that)…I'll continue this later.

"I don't believe in marriage."

…

Just…die already? Ok?

Fine…that was mean…but anyway…again…what you mean to say, is you don't believe in commitment; because after all, that's what marriage is. It's that bond between to people that says, "I will love you forever and always and it shall be to you and you alone." A reason I don't believe in polygamy…but I'm not going there (at least not in this blog). A large cause of divorce is people that don't keep their commitment, to love someone despite sickness, or in strength, or through the rich times, and the poor times (remember the wedding vows?). A man breaks his commitment and commits adultery, thus breaking the marriage and the sacred bond between two people.

Ramon…why don't you do us a favor and tell us your thoughts on what exactly is commitment to you?

SURE! GLAD YOU ASKED!

Simple: It's not going to be as complicated as my definition of love, which was provided in the "love blog." It's simply being faithful to something until its requirement is fulfilled. When someone signs a contract, they make a commitment to abide by the rules of that contract and to do certain things, or to pay a certain amount, or to avoid saying certain things/doing certain things, and so on so forth. If someone tries to find a way of getting out of that contract, such as filing a lawsuit to lower the interest rates on a credit card, or to find a way to avoid fulfilling civilian duties, such as paying taxes, jury duty, or being a pansy president and moving to Canada to avoid going to war; you break your commitment. When one cheats in a relationship (whether dating or married), you break your commitment. In situations such as marriage, that is a life-long and lasting commitment until you or your spouse dies…and yes, I do believe divorce is a means of breaking a commitment.

RAMON! What if my father was abusive to my mother? Is it wrong for my mom to desire a divorce? The moment your father abused your mother, he broke to commitment to take care of her. The marriage is already broken, even if it hasn't gone through legal terms. Moving on…

I bring this whole topic up, because of my being here in Davis for the pastoring job. It is a strong commitment…and I've struggled greatly. I'm leaving Davis and going home. Not out of my own will, but it was decided by the pastor and some church members that I simply came at a bad time, and they do not want to harm me (emotionally and mentally) with some of the happenings that have happened. I did make an argument to stay though, but the bottom line is that even with the struggles and hard time, I stuck my neck out and continued to try and keep the commitment I made. Even if it means sacrifice on health, sleep, or anything else. I've learned a lot through my stay, and I'm rather disappointed in having to leave early…but it's in God's hands and maybe one day, when things are settled, I'll be coming back.

I sat and though of my commitments. The commitment I made for this job; the commitment I have to Teaching Fellows. The commitment I have to my family. The promises I have made to some friends, to always be there and to love them through the hard times; the commitment I have made in following Christ; and other commitments. And I reflect that, yes…they're hard to keep…but commitments make us stronger, and help us to develop character, and to strengthen our own weaknesses.

It frustrates me to see guys (mainly)…and some girls…that would rather play "friends with benefits;" or to go around and flirt with every possible option out there and never settle down, because of the lustful desire to just want to have fun, and to enjoy the pleasure without the pain of going through the hard times with someone. I hate seeing a guy that says, "I'll always love you; you're the best thing that ever happened to me," to only end up dumping her for someone else that he'll say the same thing. I hate to see a guy, work hard to satisfy a lady, and to be loving and sweet, only for the girl to dump him, "looking for prince charming." …I really don't know…heh…like I told my friend… "Sometimes I just hate people ~.~," but nah…it's not that…I just have no tolerance for unfaithfulness and not committing to a single person (or thing, in the case of jobs, promises, and such).

Hope I didn't offend anyone, BUT…if I did…maybe you needed to here it, or you can just leave a comment yelling at me and correcting me in something you think I said wrong…or didn't phrase correctly. Whatever…love y'all anyway.